What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman—co-editor of Yes Means Yes—gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, and sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture—the idea that you must act sexy to belong, yet are shamed for pursuing sex—and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman's informed guidance to steer them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends—and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone's sexuality along the way.

What you’ll gain

• Quizzes that reveal your preferences, boundaries, and vision for healthy sexuality
• Creative exercises to articulate what you want and how to ask for it
• Reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today, grounded in real experiences
• Tools to separate fear from fact and decode the damaging messages you encounter
• Strategies for talking about tricky issues with partners, family, and friends
• A compassionate, shame-free framework for expressing sexuality safely

If you’re navigating a culture of mixed signals and want a clearer, safer approach to your sexuality, this guide offers a practical, empowering path grounded in honesty and self-respect.